Blog from the Future Past

Miracle at St. Anna

I've always loved Spike Lee's work. He approaches film with a piercing imagination, shows a deft hand with the editor's knife and manages to wring the best out of his actors. In Miracle at St. Anna, I suppose Spike was attempting to make his Saving Private Tyrone, honoring the highly decorated 92nd Infantry Brigade, the first all-black combat unit during WWII.

Too bad, but Spike lost focus somewhere along the line and fell short... too complicated, too long, too much meandering, but otherwise brilliant.

In all fairness, I haven't read the James McBride novel that inspired the film.

Little Angelo is protected by 'Gigante Chocolato', the Chocolate Giant, played by Omar Benson Miller. Looking on is Pvt. Bishop Cummings (Michael Ealy).

I can imagine that some of the twists and turns in the story might ride smoother with the detail allowed in a literary treatment. If Spike's error was made in an attempt to keep too closely with the book, as an author I can somewhat forgive.

A Brooklyn postal clerk pulls a WWII vintage German Luger pistol from under his desktop and shoots dead a customer buying stamps. When police, with a inquisitive young journalist in tow, search the shooter's apartment, they find the head of a renaissance statue that once adorned a bridge in Florence, Italy, destroyed by the allies in 1944.

The aging postal clerk turns out to be Hector Negrone, a former member of the 92nd Infantry, 'Buffalo Soldiers', and what follows is the story of how Hector came to posses that precious artifact.

Flash back to the war; Hector's squad gets separated for the rest of their brigade after an ambush by the Germans at a river crossing scatters the 92nd. One of the four, Train, a mountain of a man, carries the head strapped to his side, a protective talisman, he believes. In a small abandoned farmhouse where the men plan to hide out, Train finds a young Italian boy trapped under some ruble. The boy, Angelo, calls Train Gigante Chocolatto--the chocolate giant.

And so the real story--Angelo's and Train's story--finally begins. The soldiers take the boy to a village where they are celebrating the departure of the German Army from the area. The men, despite their race, are well-received and cared for by the townsfolk. They meet partisans who have captured a German that the often incoherent boy seems to know.

Magical realism takes hold, unseen forces at work to save the boy and his Buffalo Soldier guardian angels.

I'd tell you more, but I'd have to make a really long story really short. This where Spike start wandering off the main line, spending too much time with the Italians and not enough with the Americans, except in flashbacks... lots of them. Lee also rode onto a number of sidetracks making racial points about the era. things that probably don't need to be said, or have been said so many times before. For this film, that sort of thing just seemed superfluous and distracting.

Near the end of the film, we're at Hector's pre-trial hearing for the murder of his Italian immigrant customer, a man about his own age. A mystery benefactor has hired some high-powered lawyer to represent Hector and pays off his two-million-dollar cash bail. In a scene oddly reminiscent ofThe Shawshank Redemption, when Red finds Andy and a Bahamian beach, Hector finds his benefactor drinking margaritas, sitting in a lounge chair on a Bahamian Beach.

Guess who?

It's worth seeing, despite the flaws. Spike Lee is too skilled for this film not to have its moments.

Rating: 3.5 out of 5.0
Fat Laughing Buddhas

The Tom Brady Panic

Patriots fans in a cold-sweat panic and about to abandon ship need to remember the 2004 Superbowl run.

In the first game that year, New England lost to the Buffalo Bills, 34-0. Tom Brady was sacked a number of times and had one of his worst games ever... statistically, at least. It's hard to be on top of game when you're underneath a laughing defensive end or blitzing safety.

Fast-forward to the regular season finale; New England turns it around and dumps the Bills by an identical 34 to zip whitewash. The game wasn't as close as the score indicated, y'all will recall.

You don't how good or how bad your team is and what's needed to improve your chances until at least game six or eight.

That's when the real season--the playoff push--begins.

Blog from the Future Past has been wrongly accused of using the mere mention of Patriots quarterback Tom Brady as an excuse to include a cheesecake photo of GISELLE BUNDCHEN.

Don't Tase Me, Bro...

Someone you know will be
tasered to death by authorities

LUCKY RODENT: NYC sewer rat

Toothpaste Economy

The mainstream media has gone bizarro trying to explain the current economic crisis to the public. Comparisons to the Great Depression or a standard pyramid scheme don't quite do the situation justice. The resident geniuses at Blog from the Future Past came up with a more simplified model to explain the dire situation to those of us lacking a Harvard MBA, or even a GED: the Toothpaste Tube Economic Model, depicted in the illustration at right.

First off, there needed to be pre-conditions. A corporate culture developed during the high-flying 80's and 90's, whereby companies would stack their Board of Directors and management team with greedy synchophant homies of the CEO, who would then award everyone at the corporate Christmas Party enormous 'performance-based' bonuses and stock options.

The Tootpaste Model of the Economic Crisis explains how speculators and Fat Cats ate your lunch.

More recently, clever execs in the banking/lending biz invented the 'sub-prime' mortgage market and used it to artificially inflate the net worth of their companies, on paper at least, by selling off bad loans at good-loan rates, and triggering huge bonus payoffs and stock awards for themselves.

This created the pressure at the back of the tube, where the small lenders and consumers at the base of the economy reside--their pension plans, their homes, their savings are poised to collapse.

The $70 Billion Bailout is supposed to replace the money from the bottom of the tube that got sucked out of the top by our Wall Street wizards.

Right now they're wondering, plotting, how they can get their mitts on the new bailout bonanza, as well.

You can bank on it.

Boston's by the Viaduct

Last night, we three along with my Mom and nephew Joe decided to try Boston's by the Viaduct in Canton, a redo of the former Nick's Place.

It wasn't pretty.

Around 8-10 years ago, the old Nick's was a decent family restaurant with an expansive menu, specializing in Greek and Italian. Friendly, competent servers took good care of you, and for a decent price.

Hey... you folks over at Boston's by the Viaduct... this is what a North End sausage sub is supposed to look like. Note the crusty toasted Italian roll, that the veggies are fully cooked and the sausage still retains some of its flavorful juices. Seriously... you guys need to watch The Food Channel.

We should have known something was amiss when we arrived around 6 PM, Sunday evening. Nick's used to be packed at that time, and a wait of thirty minutes or longer not unusual. We were seated right away--two other people in the dining room, two in the bar. When the waitress came, she seemed put-out and somehow harassed, despite a lack of customers to harry her.

Boston's thing is sort of a food tour of Beantown; their menu sub-divided into sections titled, North End, Quincy Market, Haymarket, and the like.

I doubt any food made on those premises would pass on the natives, for sure... and there aren't all that many tourists to rip-off around Canton.

And so the place was empty... the word of mouth we somehow missed must have been vile.

To make what could be a long story short, Joe ordered the Nacho appetizer for his main dish: cheap, thin, stale, flavorless nachos, no cheese to speak of, a sprinkle of jar salsa and lump of bad guac. (Uncle Bill... these nachos suck.)

Grammy and May had Steak Tip subs, what little meat there was overdone and tough. My 'North End' sausage sub was a joke... bad bread, A HALF of a tasteless, dried-out sausage topped with a spare scattering of uncooked peppers and onions.

It's hard to believe that food professionals are running this ship, or that you can be that bad by accident.

I'll give Boston's a 0.5 for getting a bacon cheeseburger cooked to order and their fairly decent, crispy onion rings, but I think I'm being generous since everything, including the drinks, had a high-end price.

Go at your own peril... you'd be much better off in the North End.

Boston's by the Viaduct
399 Neponset St..
Canton, Ma, MA 02021
Phone: (781) 828-7878

Rating: A Dismal 0.5 out of 5 Tomato Salads

Today's Japanglish - 4

We were at Michael's, a small restaurant near Concord's Nine-Acre Corner. The waitress took Marii's burger order first and then turned to May.

"I'll want the crab," she said.

The waitress looked puzzled, and began to scan the menu over May's shoulder. "I didn't know we had crab. Can you point it out, dear?"

My cue to jump in. "She wants a Club sandwich," I told the woman, "The Cheeseburger Club."

The waitress laughed with us, kindly. "Don't worry," she said, trying to console May, "It just takes time."

Another Year Sneaks Past Me

Eighteen sweet years and counting for May and me... thank you so much, Sweetie.

We were married at the Fujisawa Catholic Church by an Irish priest on September 15, 1990. May sought out an english-speaking priest so that the ceremony could be in my native tongue and I would know what I was promising. The priest had been in Japan so long, however, he forgot the english words and kept lapsing into Japanese.

The ceremony took place while the eye of a typhoon passed above the seaside city.

Most of the day, it rained wan-chan tô nekko-chan.

Fujisawa Catholic Church, September 15, 1990.

Drug Choice of the Masses

Last night on NBC's Saturday Night Live, there were at least five comedic references to crystal meth in the first 30 minutes, including Amy Poehler as Hillary Clinton proclaiming Sarah Pailin's hometown of Wasilia the, 'crystal-meth capital of Alaska' in the show's intro.

The long-running late night show has long been window a into the trendy Hollywood lifestyle, but as far as we know here at Blog from The Future Past, this is the first time the west coast glitteratti have taken the lead from the trailer-trash sub-culture, perhaps an indicator of the poor US economy.

Pop culture psycho-analista Gabriella Stompanazi of Heiny Magazine explained the new fad to Media Fool; "You can make enough crystal-meth to put a hurtin' buzz on a half of a Beverly Hills disco with only about $30 worth of over-the-counter cough medicine and a few inexpensive kitchen utensils you can pick up at any Target," she explained.

I hope the SNL cast didn't give any of that crap to Michael Phelps.

Long in search of the right venue for the over-talented David Spade, the FOX network recently signed the obnoxious comic to play the title role in, ' Krystal', their new SITCOM about an aging transgendered prostitute who wise-cracks her way through a debilitating crystal-meth addiction.

New Breed Hockey Mother

Sarah Palin uses her baby as a prop at the 2008 Republican National Convention.

Knocked Up

girl, look what you've done

now everyone calls me

tonsil hockey mom

Seven Years and Counting

On the day after the Twin Towers fell, I tried to find a thread of optimism to hang onto, some small hope that, despite the horror, some Holy Phoenix of Peace might rise from the dark ash.

If nothing else, I thought at the time, people would seek to understand each other across their cultural dividers... perhaps a dialogue might bloom that could bring the Muslim and Christian worlds together with better understanding and mutual tolerance.

I always hope for the best and keeep an eye out for the worst, but even I underestimated the capability of George and his band of Military/Industrial Strength pinheads to screw things up.

After that awful day, we had the good will and heartfelt sympathy the rest of the world. Hearing only the drumbeats of war and calls for revenge, the Bush administration cynically used the Nine-Eleven tragedy for its bizarre political ends.

America has never been the same since... economically, for sure, but also spirituality.

Land of the Free and Home of the Brave rings hollow when your bombing people, holding them without due process or even torturing them. It didn't have to be that way... it was a choice, and a bad one.

Everyone should love us because we're the Greatest Country in the World, but we're now a Sweet Land of Liberty used to be, wandering lost in a world without pity.

You get what you deserve when you elect a lightweight. The boneheads are always an easy choice, a convenient out.

Keep that in mind in November when you cast your vote.

Like this woman on the day of the WTC attacks, America has been lost, not only searching for answers, but also the right questions.

I consider September 11, 2001 the day I 'officially' started my first novel, Travel, though it didn't have a name then. I thought I would write a book that would be part of this great change, this new age of international understanding that would surely come after such an act that shocked the world.

All that never happened and the seeds of peace never bore fruit. I'll have to find my own way now. There is no one anywhere on earth to follow.

Pig Politics

CHINESE SAY: A pig wearing
liptsick is big waste of pig.

LUCKY FOOD: Crap Rangoon - $4.95

Tom Will Brady On....

On the night Tom Brady injured his knee, Giselle tried to console him by wearing the quarterback's favorite all-gymp panties. Tom's long rehabilitation will allow him more time for in-depth study of Ms. Bundchen's world-class caboose.

Tom Terrific bit the dust yesterday. Out for the year, kaput for the playoffs and beyond.

It's too bad... an injury. No player deserves it, but football is a violent game and the mother of a lot of hard, sometimes fatal accidents.

This is going to make the road to another Superbowl muddy and slow. I figure Tom Brady is worth 10 points more per game than Matt Cassel, not to mention ball control issues and keeping the other offense off the field. If the Pats scored ten less per game last year, they would have been 10-6 instead of 16-0 in the regular season.

On the other hand, other AFC powers seem to have like problems, so who knows?

To tell the truth, toward the end of last year, you started to worry when they weren't blowing off the opposition by more then 30. That's how 'spoiled' we were.

There will be a lot of nail-biters, scratching and clawing. It will be an interesting season.

Masquerade of the Hot Damned

Within a generation, an angry majority of the population of the Industrialized World will take to wearing costumes while out and about on their public business, an open revolt against the pandemic of security cameras and video monitoring in both public and private spaces.

Enjoying unprecedented affluence and an increasing array of evolving social freedoms, fashion and flair become the hallmark of the age, making any public gathering look like a cross between a Rio Carnival and the bar at the Tatooine spaceport on a universal bad hair day.

In 2035, the most popular holographic telecast on the FOX network is the blockbuster 'America's Hottest Videos', featuring viral clips taken from security cams of masked citizens having sex in public.

Catholic priests, circus clowns, professional wrestlers and other public servants will eventually refuse to wear a mask or costume, claiming the practice denigrates their trade.

Kansas Delegates pledged to Bristol Palin hold caucus at the 2040 Republican National Convention in Nome, Alaska.

Of these things to come, the Oracle is certain

Guess what, Mom... I'm...

Your teenage daughter will get
an 'F' in her abstinence program.

LUCKY STIFF: Don't rely on luck! -- myViagra.com

Sarah Who?

No sooner does Barak Obama confound all the pundits with his choice of 'Cotton Mouth Joe' Biden as his running mate, when John McCain--having yet another senior moment--opts for Alaska Governor Sarah Palin to play second fiddle on the GOP ticket.

At best, this is perplexing. For someone who belittles Obama on his lack of experience, Jut-Jaw Johnny touts Ms. Palin's splendid record as a PTA activist and commander of the Alaskan National Guard. That means Deval Patrick, as commander of the Massachusetts National Guard, has just as much military and security expertise as this Wicked Witch of the North... almost less than zero.

On the other hand, who today would be insane enough to support any of the Republicans everyone already knows.

Sensing an instant career boost, Tina Fey switched her political party affiliation from Democrat to Republican just minutes after John McCain named Sarah Palin as his running mate.