The War on Culture

Not sure why Madonna gets raked over the coals for adopting an African child, especially when Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt were somehow able to avoid all that flap. I say, let the celebreties empty the African orphanages, if they want to. After those are empty, move on to South and Central America.

Special privileges? Sure... but for every kid they swipe, they give a couple of million to charity. At least they're not spending all that money on coke, like they used to do.

Enter to win a free drink at the Hurricane Bar on Bourbon Street !

Which STH (Sanctimonious Talking Head) will be the first to intimate that god punished the people of the Big Easy for their wayward ways?

1. Rev. Pat Robertson
2. Rev. Jerry Falwell
3. Rep. Rick Santorum
4. Osama Bin Laden
5. All of the above, in a joint announcement

Vote Smart. Vote Often.

Everyone knows god promised to punish the wicked with fire the next time around, not water. Duh !

Freakin' morons. No wonder so many people open fire in church.

In Japan, February 3rd is "Bean Day" -- a quaint or bizarre folk holiday, depending on your sensibilities. In just about every household, the family gathers at the doorway, each in turn throwing a fistful of dried soy beans out the door and shouting, "Oni wa soto!", or (roughly), "Devil be gone!"

When I first heard of this custom, I asked my friend Zoom what was the deal. "The Japanese devil hates beans," he told me.

We need Japanese devils instead of the Christian version. Or maybe we can throw cheeseburgers and fries instead. Think of all the problems Satan causes just by being there. For one, if there were no Satan, Jerry Falwell would be mixing paint at a hardware store somewhere and Pat Robertson would likely make his living doing Jimmy Stewart impressions in the lounge at the local Ramada Inn. Instead, with Satan on their side, they can get airtime telling the President what to do.

Try throwing your favorite Devil repellent foodstuffs at this Satan bastard and let me know how you make out.

We need a fix for this mess, really...

NEWS: In response to the Islamic militants who published photos of a camouflage-uniformed action figure 'hostage', Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld today agreed to release the Aladdin, Jasmine, and Jaffar action figures he keeps in his desk. Mattel, seizing the new marketing opportunity, plans to extend their GI Joe line of action figures with new versions, featuring removable bloody heads and a ritual scimitar.