Annie Whiplash

People like Joe Biden are somehow shocked that President Bush continues to beat the war drum at Iran, despite the recent National Intelligence Estimate that the Iranians have no active nuclear weapons program, and haven't since 2003.

Biden and his treacherous ilk just don't understand the concept of leadership; that leaders have to think differently, the very thing that makes them leaders. Any fool knows this, Joe Biden, and where have you been?

Though President Bush is often criticized as a lightweight, lacking depth, or even a simpleton, the Bush administration's Middle-East policy remains a work of genius, aimed at a single all-important goal: maintain a long-term status quo of instability in the region in order to artificially inflate oil prices.

That's called leadership, Joe Biden.

The genius of the neo-con simplified Roadmap of the Middle-East is that it maintains a dangerous status quo of instability in order to pump up prices for the oil business.

Though I wouldn't trust Irani President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad much past the point I could toss the little bastard with a dull pitchfork, there are lessons to be learned from his recent visit to the UN and concurrent appearance at Columbia University. The Iranian leader was obviously preaching to the East-Coast liberal cry-baby choir as he tore off a litany of our alleged sins. Meanwhile, these are the very things the Iranian goverment does to keep the bearded masses of Iranian men and women under his greasy thumb.

He says we have secret prisons. They also have them in Iran. He blames us for using torture during interrogation and holding prisoners without access to legal representation or due process. They do these things as well.

We'll keep them to ourselves, thank you.

This week the liberal media cabal--especially Cable Nonsense News--gloated over the fact announced Democratic presidential hopefuls managed to raise 50% more in election contributions than their GOP counterparts.

We've been through this movie before. The special interests that drive GOP funding come mostly from business interests that thrive off our classic energy or environmental policies, or make a windfall off the assets on public land. A few people make a huge profit or siphon off a few bucks, but it's good for the economy and helps support the war. This is a tried and true American way of doing things, considering the ugly alternative.

Today we mourn the death of a man who, as vocal leader of his Moral Majority, changed the landscape of American politics by guiding the deep spiritual side of the Reagan Revolution.

Thanks to Reverend Jerry Falwell, instead of addressing mundane issues such as the economy, the environment, health care, or national security, our political focus shifted onto more important, though long-neglected issues. How long after conception does life begin? Seconds? Minutes? Should we allow our sacred red, white and blue banner to be desecrated? How often should we pray in our schools, and to whom? How many guns should people be required to own? Should homosexuals or other Democrats be allowed to vote?

We owe the man a tremendous debt. Thanks to the good Reverend Fallwell, sick hungry children can now pray for a brain transplant and pledge allegiance to the flag before they sit down to study creationism and Moses. This, ladies and gentleman, is truly what America is all about.

George Tenet is not only wrong, but treacherously disloyal. The former CIA head was lucky his liberal ass was allowed to stay on after the 2000 election and Tenet has been around the block enough times to understand that occasionally an underling has to take one for the chief. What ever happened to the idea of falling on your sword to take one for the team? He should be proud to be the fall guy, not resentful or hurt.

Who did he expect to be the focal point of the misplaced public displeasure with progress in the Iraq War? Dick Cheney or Donald Rumsfeld? Wasn't it clear that if anyone would be fired over intelligence issues leading to 9-11 and the Iraqi invasion, it would be a holdover from the previous administration?

Duh, George Tenet. That's life in the big city.

World Bank President Paul Wolfowitz has come under fire lately for influencing a promotion and large raise for his main squeeze, Shaha Riza, a former underling, we assume in more ways than one.

First off, Wolfowitz deserves slack. This is the principle architect of "Shock and Awe" we're talking about here; an American patriot of immense intellect, one of the few with the guts to order the slaughter of innocent people to spread democracy and peace throughout the middle-east.

What guy worth his salt hasn't given the woman they jiggy with a little gift once in awhile? While it may not always be ethical, it's perfectly understandable. You need to stay on the good side of your honey-pot if you're going to get to dip.