Election '08

This election has the cosmic oddity of a minority major party candidate: it almost forces the wimpy Democrats to select a white male as Obama's running mate. Note I said, 'almost forces'. The only courageous and right thing to do would have been to select Hillary Clinton, a strategy sure to send McCain off packing his high-button shoes come November.

Delaware Senator Joe Biden demonstrates to freshman colleagues how big his mouth is likely to become once he torques up his lips to full flap.

For whatever reason--and I'm not sure we've heard the real reason--Hilly was ruled out. Senator Clinton is the only female running mate certain to put fat asses in the seats and load up the coffers with larder. The value of her experience would be hard to challenge, a big plus for the inexperience Barack-man. But, alas, goaded on by the media, the Nation seems to have fallen over to a 'single minority' mindset. In other words, "Folks may vote for for black man, but there's no way they're going to vote for a woman, too."

Too bad... Hillary would have raised the Democratic stock enough to put them over the top. Another female, asian, hispanic, or other minority (women are not a minority, but let's not pick nits) would no doubt drag the ticket down.

So the Poor Democrats... poor, Poor Democrats... go for the safe bet: The White Man. The VP candidate might have been John Edwards, if he could have kept his pants zipped. It might have been former General Wesley Clark, adding the aura of a seasoned military man. (Clark looked to be in the running, but fell out of favor fast. One has to wonder if there isn't an unwrapped package hidden somewhere in his closet.) Kerry wears the black brand of a Big East liberal on his expansive forehead and is already a loser. Gore? A wonky flake and a loser, too.

Obama looks around the Democratic room, past Howard Dean, the ailing Ted Kennedy, calls up Carville, Mondale, any 2-bit Democrat celebrity with 2-cents in their pocket, until he settles on the biggest windbag in the Senate: Joe Biden--a man who simply glows whenever he gets a chance to hear himself talk, which you can bet goes on 24/7.

People will stay away from the Democratic ticket in droves. What should have been a walk-in-the park has turned into a horse race, with Obama stretching out his long neck.