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Hunter Thompson

Thursday, August 21. 2008

Being Without Manny

Reluctantly, painfully, I finally conceded that Manny probably had to go, since he seemed to be forcing it.

That doesn't mean I'm happy, though.

The Boston Red Sox are a much more boring place without Manny. In the past, you could depend on a few goofy Manny shots to relieve the between-pitch boredom of baseball, but now you get the bland, unemotional Jason Bay, instead.

Don't get me wrong... Bay is a decent player, but he never sticks out his tongue at the camera and has yet to take a leak or make a phone call inside the Green Monster.

You won't see Jason Bay tongue-kissing Julio Lugo's ear.

Manny Ramirez scales the left field wall at Camden Yards to strangle an aging hippie who desecrated our American flag.

Posted by Bill Lambert in Beantown Fan Attic, Red Sox at 19:20 | Comments (0) | Trackbacks (0)

Wednesday, July 30. 2008

What it must be like to be Manny

I didn't get the whole Manny flap during the past week or so. Seems to me like Manny only described his contract situation as it is and voiced an honest assessment. If you take all that was said in summary, Manny said that if the Sox want to pick up his option, he'd be fine with that. If they choose not to pick his option and trade him, he'd be okay with that, too.

What else could he say, in all honesty. Was Manny just being too honest?

This is another one of these media fueled controversies. No surprise, Dan Shaughnessy of the Globe--separated at birth from his twin, Bozo the Clown--sticks his pudgy puss smack in the middle of it. Is there anyone out there in Beantown nott sick and tired of Danny-Boy's tirades against minority athletes?

He's as predictable as Rush Limbaugh, and twice as lame.

Oh, Dan can sure write. He puts the words together quite well. Maybe too well... stuck on himself, he can't resist making up stories when there's no story there.

In Dan's defense, every one in the media these days does the same thing... they make up news and then try to put themselves in the middle of it.

Some defense that is.

Manny Ramirez, in the outfield during warmups, practicing catching flies with his tongue. Manny will someday be elected into the Red Sox Goofball Hall of Fame, joining former Goofball Greats Jimmy Piersall, Gene Conley, Pumpsie Green, Bill the Spaceman Lee, Roger Moret and Bernie Carbo.

It will be a sad day in Boston, if and when Manny Ramirez moves on. He is one of the top 25 offensive players of all time, accomplished through hard work and dedication to the art of hitting. Manny is never intimidated at the plate, never 'down in the count', ever the threat, and deadly in the clutch. A true free spirit, one of the best at doing what he's paid to do, Manny is Bob Dylan, John Lennon, George Carlin... an artist.

Think of what it' must be like to be Manny, sitting way up there in the drivers seat of life. What would you do if you were the best?

Posted by Bill Lambert in Beantown Fan Attic, Red Sox at 10:17 | Comments (0) | Trackbacks (0)

Monday, October 29. 2007

Sweet Sweep

Sorry if anyone tuned in to see me gloat. We had house guests over the weekend, and I didn't get in much blog time.

My summertime family, the Boston Red Sox, won the big prize for the second time in my lifetime.

The first one was sweet, but this one was even sweeter. I liked this team more... a lot more then the 2004 crew. Perhaps the Nation is now more in concert: team management, the players, the fans and even the media. I was never a fan of that "Cowboy Up" schtick, and just like this team better. I think it was the kids. There were a lot of kids playing well, the hope of the future, and interesting side dramas: John Lester's recovery from lymphoma, Beckett's rise to dominance, Schilling re-inventing himself, and the development of Hideki Okajima as an All-Star and one of the premiere set-up men in the game.

And finally, everyone got used to Manny, the Rain Man of Major League Baseball.

Rumor has it that Disney has Johnny Depp under contract to star as Jacoby Ellsbury in the new classic blockbuster, "Red Sox of the Caribbean".

Terry Francona, flying on some kind of prescient genius magic carpet, managed the series perfectly. People have learned to be more patient, and give the master room to work. He was simply brilliant.

So, the season is over. The parade gives us closure, a final tribute to our heros for a job well done.

Posted by Bill Lambert in Red Sox at 10:27 | Comments (0) | Trackbacks (0)

Thursday, October 25. 2007

When You're Hot...

The Rockies are going to have to come up bigtime tonight or it may be a short series.

After Beckett struck out the side in the top of the first, the Pest Pedroia smacked the second pitch off the top of the wall in left center. He's getting the Manny Ramirez Bat Drop thing down pat. It won't be long before he's raising his arms up in the air like the great Dominican slugger.

Bad as all that was for Colorado, that was when the Rockies were probably at their peak in this game. Everything went wrong for them... small things, for instance a lazy Ramirez liner looping over the heads of a strangely drawn-in infield. Big things: Clint Hurdle allowing Ryan Speier to walk in three consecutive runs.

It's the World Series, Man... you gotta yank anyone with the Fenway jitters as soon you see it.

This is baseball, though... a funny game. Today is always another day.

Posted by Bill Lambert in Red Sox at 15:31 | Comments (0) | Trackbacks (0)

Monday, October 22. 2007

Sox win in Seven

Daisuke Matsuzaka wasn't brilliant, but he kept his focus and more than got the job done.

The hero of the day, however, was the pesky Dustin Pedroia. Late in a close game, the smallest guy on the field -- perhaps on any Major League diamond this year -- started whacking the ball around like Reggie Jackson and rounding the bases with the same strut.

Quite an impressive young player, someone we can look forward to watching for many years to come. Call him the pocket Pete Rose.

Yesterday Dustin had a night in the sun, but if I had to pick an MVP for the series, it would have to be Kevin Youkilis.

Sources in Hollywood claim that Sydney Pollack has signed Dustin Hoffman (left) to reincarnate his 1982 Academy Award winning role as Dustin Pedroia in the up-coming romantic comedy, "Red Sox Tootsie".

Those two, batting one and two, carried the team when Papi and Manny came down to earth a little. Someone needed to pick up the power numbers, and those boys sailed into the challenge.

A Youkilis smash in the eighth hit the giant Coke bottle on the left field light stanchion smack in the middle. The ball plopped onto the field in front of the scoreboard. The Oracle at Blog from the Future Past is sure this is an omen of even better things to come.

Posted by Bill Lambert in Red Sox at 11:22 | Comments (0) | Trackbacks (0)

Sunday, October 21. 2007

Game Seven

The man of the hour is Daisuke Matsuzaka. Take it from someone who knows: the enigmatic rookie has been showing signs of homesickness and culture shock late in the year. I have every confidence he will get his head on straight today, though, and lead the Red Sox to another World Series.

This game will mean everything in the world to Daisuke. I saw him play in that lengendary high school tournament... the 17-inning, 253 pitch classic that made him a household god in the land of the rising sun.

Though he's had his troubles, today Daisuke will remember what he needs to do and do it.

Gambatte!, which is Japanese for, "It's crunch time, dood..."