BILL LAMBERT
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Wednesday, September 26. 2007
October Predictions
October is neigh upon us and The Oracle at Blog from the Future Past has been tuning in to the portion of his brain pierced by that now-legendary lightening bolt years ago while standing on the summit of Mt. Arrafat.
His predictions for the up-coming month will astound you:
An MIT student will do something stupid.
A prominent government official will be indicted or censured for bribery charges or some sort of sexual shenanigans.
Two babies will be found in dumpsters. Three young girls will go missing. Four campaign aides for major candidates will be fired for being either fugitives or pedophiles.
Five men will kill their wives. Six men will kill women who scorned them. A dozen Pit Bulls will maul children. The Homeland Security Department and/or its FEMA subsidiary will screw up bigtime.
The Pope will say something lame.
One will be alive, one not.
One will be found, two won't.
Three of them will try to pin the blame on someone of another race.
Four of these will be by murder/suicide.
Some of them won't make it, others will.
At a recent press conference, Homeland Security Secretary Michael Chertoff immitates the mating call of an Eastern Wood Duck while President George W. Bush checks upskirt on one of the hot FEMA babes.
Of these things to come, the Oracle is certain
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