Farewell to Falwell

Today we mourn the death of a man who, as vocal leader of his Moral Majority, changed the landscape of American politics by guiding the deep spiritual side of the Reagan Revolution.

Thanks to Reverend Jerry Falwell, instead of addressing mundane issues such as the economy, the environment, health care, or national security, our political focus shifted onto more important, though long-neglected issues. How long after conception does life begin? Seconds? Minutes? Should we allow our sacred red, white and blue banner to be desecrated? How often should we pray in our schools, and to whom? How many guns should people be required to own? Should homosexuals or other Democrats be allowed to vote?

We owe the man a tremendous debt. Thanks to the good Reverend Fallwell, sick hungry children can now pray for a brain transplant and pledge allegiance to the flag before they sit down to study creationism and Moses. This, ladies and gentleman, is truly what America is all about.