Blog from the Future Past

Before the earth reaches the apogee of the next Summer solstice, misogynist parasitic celebrity blogger Perez Hilton will be flattened three times by enraged gangsta rappers, kicked in the groin by an insanly mad has-been TV actress and bitten on the ankle by a disgraced beauty queen's over-stimulated lap dog.

The ensuing legal actions will earn the cretin a lifetime of fabulous affluence and, hopefully, an irreversible form of suicidal depression.

Perez Hilton appears in a Los Angeles court
wearing his favorite cotton candy hairpiece
and trademark black eye.