Blog from the Future Past

Barely a hundred-years after the groundbreaking work of Crick and Watson, the One-World Government will require DNA samples from all citizens and newborns, legislating long prison terms and heavy fines for those seeking avoidance. The justification for this ultimate invasion of privacy: under a government administered universal healthcare system, genetic data must be studied to prevent disease and help control epidemic outbreaks. In a textbook scenario of misguided intentions, gross mismanagement and the worst of unintended consequences, things begin to turn awry when unscrupulous government employees and mercenary hackers gain access. Millions, possibly all, of the records are compromised.

Angry protesters storm and burn down the One-World Healthcare Agency in Buenos Aires during the DNA Rebellion of 2091.

Clever and unscrupulous entrepreneurs quickly capitalize on the windfall, establishing, at first, gene-splicing clinics within the few remaining territories outside One-World. Parental DNA is altered for favorable traits, such as intelligence, coloring, or certain physical abilities. Some turn to forms of advantageous breeding, seeking child prodigies with special skills they can market at maturity. They mine the database for gene patterns from those successful in various fields of endeavor, and mix and match DNA fragments from multiple sources.

As the first generation of 'batter babies' begins to mature, it becomes obvious that a small but significant percentage of the population has, almost by definition, superhuman capabilities. Every important athletic record is superseded, and the fields of entertainment and business are taken under the control of those who come to be called in contemporary vernacular, 'The Chosen'. As more of the planet's assets and privilege acquire to The Chosen, the public becomes increasingly resentful and turns to take it out on the government in the form of the DNA Rebellion of 2091, an armed attempt to destroy the DNA master database, creating a crisis that eventually topples the One-World government.

Thousands of the generation called The Chosen are slaughtered, many of them innocent natural-borns. Human gene tampering becomes the sole remaining capital offense under the New One-World regime.

Of these things to come, the Oracle is certain

You have to wonder what they're thinking over there at Miss USA. The entire Miss California/Perez Hilton controversy has been a disaster and an embarrassment to pageant organizers, however, they've earned every stinking ostrich egg caked on their face. THE MOTHER OF ALL MISTAKES: en-paneling a gay male as a judge in a beauty contest is like selecting someone to judge an equestrian event who has never ridden a horse. Pageant organizers should have anticipated that Hilton, a headline grabber of the first rank, might judge the contest based on some unpredictable or arbitrary criteria. An accident waiting to happen; by selecting Hilton, they set themselves up for the fall. Each contestant in Miss USA is filtered through a written questionnaire, that asks, among others other things, if the young lass has bared her assets, so to speak, for the camera. If, as it turned out, you can be disqualified for being less than politically correct in the mind of one of the judges, shouldn't they ask that question on the contest entry form up front, as well? Q. Do you support same sex marriage? (Warning: a negative response may get your tight little world-class heiny disqualified)

Bloganazzi Perez Hilton trolling for a full body cavity search while enroute to this years' Cannes Film Festival.

Why should it matter what some 22-year-old Malibu airhead thinks about gay marriage? All that should be required is, look pretty, smile for the cameras and don't spit when you attempt to appear vaguely intelligent. It is supposed to be beauty contest, after all, not a run for the Senate or a spot on the NASA Board of Governors.

We won't even get into the hypocrisy of disqualifying any contestant who has peeled down to show off a little cheesecake... especially these days, since everyone in middle-school is doing it. They parade out the Miss USA bimbo platoon wearing little more than off-strip Vegas club girls. I mean, is there anyone on earth who doesn't know what a nipple looks like?

Anyone besides Perez Hilton, that is.

Even if you can't see the naughty bits, everyone is sure thinking about them. Maybe they should show more skin, in order to save the pageant.. give this outdated throwback a little life. They could add a lap dance round in place of those inane questions and add more entertaining side-awards, 'Best Tail Feathers', for instance, or 'Best Natural Hooters', since such things tend to encourage more in the way of hands-on viewer participation.

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This year, with Kevin Garnett among the fallen, it will take a epic string of Paul's heroics for the Celtics to repeat as NBA Champions. It will be hard... really hard, and against all odds, but I wouldn't count out The Truth just yet