Blog from the Future Past

Bernard's is an unusual name for a Chinese restaurant, but then Bernard's is unusually good, arguably the best Chinese nearby outside the narrow streets of Boston's Chinatown.

Outside Bernard's Chinese Restaurant in the Chestnut Hill Mall, giant squid entertain arriving customers before they are salted, peppered and equisitely deep-fried.

We had tried the lunch specials a couple of times and decided the place had to be worth a shot for dinner. Our resident teenager wanted General Gao's Chicken, a hit from her lunch specials. May seemed to be homing in on fried noodles with shrimp, which left me to find some appetizer thing we could all eat... maybe. I have a sort of love/hate relationship with squid. In Japan I've had squid a thousand ways, including "fermented" (note: not for the squeemish). They boil it, broil it, grill it and chill it. They dry it, soak it, shred it and bread it, but in some of the pubs over there, they fry it like it's nobody's business. Getting squid done right isn't easy--undercook it and it's tough, overcook it and it's even tougher, but I love the stuff and decided to give Bernard's version a try.

Less than five minutes after we ordered, the waiter dropped off a heaping plate of the best Chinese dish I've had in years: al dente-tender squid rings and tentacle clusters cooked to perfection inside a crispy savory coating, garnished with fried won-tons, which the kid ate. May and I finally had to give up on the appetizer because we were getting stuffed before the entrees were served, and there was still almost half of it left.

That dish alone was worth the price of admission, but everything we've had there has been top quality, freshly made and served HOT!, a rarity at restaurants these days.

Bernard's isn't cheap--this is the Chestnut Hill Mall, after all--but worth more than every penny.

Bernard's
199 Boylston St (Mall at Chestnut Hill)
Chestnut Hill, MA 02467-1692
Phone: (617) 969-3388

It's my custom to walk out to the garage with May when she leaves for work in the morning. Usually, we're talking and the conversation just continues until she gets in the car and drives off. The garage is lower than the kitchen, so there's a small landing with a few steps down. Most mornings I'm there waving goodbye while she backs out, something I guess I picked up from my in-laws in Japan. This morning as sometimes happens, she remembered she forgot something. "Can you run in and get me my sneakers?" she asked as she opened the passenger side door to stow her handbag and laptop. She wore slacks and sandals, though there was still the white dust of a morning frost scattered over the ground.

"Which sneakers?" I asked, heading back in under the assumtion the shoes she wanted would likely be in the shoe & slipper cubby, just inside the kitchen door.

"They're in the pantry," she called out.

I opened the door to the kitchen pantry wondering why the hell she left her shoes in there. It's not big, not much floor space. I looked around and checked behind the door... no sign of sneakers. Then, right in front of me on the cluttered countertop, I spotted a bag of mini Snickers bars lying on top of a box of goodies. The bells went off.

I grabbed the candy, went back and handed the package to her, leaning over railing. "Tennis shoes are often called sneakers," I tried to explain, "I thought you said sneakers, not Snickers."

That's what I said," she insisted, "Sneakers, not tennis shoes."

In less than a week you will receive notification you have won seven different lotteries in the UK LUCKY STIFF: Don't rely on luck! -- myViagra.com

It will begin with WALMART, by the middle of the next decade. In an attempt to capaitalize on a growing "shopping correctness" consumer trend, the retail giant will open it's first "Family Values" Superstore in Pantego, Texas. Catering to the Christian and conservative right, all goods are guaranteed free of satanic symbols and any mention of sexuality or restroom duties. In addition, the top management of all product suppliers are pre-screened to assure there's no hidden agenda of promoting the homosexual lifestyle or affiliation with known anti-Christian organizations, such as the Democratic Party, CNN, or the Screen Actor's Guild, and are made to swear to it on the Bible.

Greeters at the new WALMART FAMILY VALUES Superstores will draw heavily from the growing ranks of disgraced former ministers.

Bloomingdale's will follow suit within six months, targeting the large New York area Jewish demographic with its first "Blooming Exodus" just outside White Plains, closed on the sabbath and Jewish high-holidays and carrying only certified kosher goods and Chinese takeout.

A number of large firms jump on the bandwagon, offering "specialty shopping" outlets where people can mix with their own kind while searching for bargains.

The trend will come to an abrupt end when studies prove that despite all the hoo-ha, people tend to shop wherever they get the lowest price.

Of these things to come, the Oracle is certain

These days ya gotta love life in America. I read a news item this morning on the CNN website, but now I can't find it. From the CNN story, it's not only TARGET that's the target, but a number of other businesses that the Christian hardcore deem 'anti-Christian'. Here's the scoop from the source, The American Family Association website: PRESS RELEASE: On Friday (Nov. 18) the American Family Association (AFA) launched on online boycott campaign against Target, citing the retailer's decision to ban Salvation Army kettles from their store entrances as well as the use of "Merry Christmas" in their in-store promotions and retail advertising. By the following Monday, almost 300,000 individuals had "signed" an online petition indicating they planned to express their disapproval of that decision by avoiding Target Stores during the upcoming Thanksgiving weekend. At press time, that number had jumped to more than 340,000.

Target's anti-Christian slant includes heavy use of the color red -- a widely recognized indicator of direct ties to Satan. A number of actors and models in Target advertising have been identified as card-carrying gay Wiccan pro-abortionists.

Personally, I think people should call Christmas Trees Christmas trees, wear whatever headgear they wish in public and pray for rain in the middle of the mall, if they choose. But this trend, if it continues could, in effect, create "Born-Again Christian Free Zones".

I have to admit... there's something appealing about that.

Since Mimi died -- actually, since we took her to Angell Memorial -- I haven't been able to write much at all. NADA... ZEE-RO... No blog, no novel... not much at all of anything else.

I feel better now. The following entry was intended for November 10th. Please pretend it's November 10th as you read on.

Forty-years ago today, I awoke from a fitfull sleep to my first sunrise at Marine Corps Recruit Depot, Parris Island, located somewhere along the stinky armpit of the South Carolina coast. Though we we still in our civilian clothes, our heads were shaved and I had a hard time picking out the four guys I flew down with, my first time on a plane. November 10th happens to be the Marine Corps Birthday, in 1967, number one-hundred-and-ninety-two. After the three raving maniacs who would be our DI's stampeded us through processing and outfitting, they told how lucky we were that we arrived on "a holiday", and not to expect this kind of cushy treatment every day. About five minutes later, one of them knocked a recruit flat on his back with a roundhouse right and then jumped full force onto his chest. I was 18 and scared shitless, a victim of strange times and a high draft lottery number.

In Kubrick's, "Full Metal Jacket", Gunnery Sgt. Hartman teaches Pvts. Cowboy, Pyle and Joker the difference between a rifle and a gun: one is for pleasure, one is for fun.

Strange times, indeed. In late '67, we were still 'winning' the war. All that would change the following spring, when the North Vietnamese "Thet Offensive" would demonstrate to the world who really had the upper hand in Nam; who was hot and who was not. It took America four more long years to accept the fact we lost our lunch there, and in the end, millions had to die for our sins.

An odd thing for me, personally... as soon as I saw Stanley Kubrick's, Full Metal Jacket, I realized the film's Parris Island Act 1 took place around the time I was there. In one scene, the Gunny is telling the boys about Christmas Mass, and we find out later this is the holiday season prior to that watershed Thet Offensive that went down in the spring of '68. My time at PI spanned the same holiday season, from November, 1967 to the end of January, 1968.

I got curious and did a little research... Kubrick based his story on a novel called, The Short Timers, by Gustav Hasford, who apparently was at Parris Island during the latter half of '67. I greatly admire him for writing that story, and it's nice to think we may have crossed paths in the chow line or out on the parade deck.

For my own take on recruit training, go here and click on Chapter 7, Montezuma's Revenge. I've been thinking this is perhaps too much like Gustav's, or other accounts, and it may never see the light of day.

I dunno.