Blog from the Future Past

At the end of Babel, one of the final credits told us, "based on an idea by (whoeveritwas)". I said to my son, Matt, a fellow victim, "Based on a BAD idea by (whoeveritwas)."

It's too bad. The acting was excellent, the cinematography outstanding, the direction of every scene right on. The only problem -- there was no coherent story, at least none to write home about.

The film almost inexplicably consists of three threads. First, Kate Blanchette, while travelling on a tour bus through the rough hill terrain of Morocco, is shot by a local farm boy playing with a new gun. Left in the middle of nowhere, her until-recently estranged hubby, Brad Pitt, tries to save her life and their marriage. Next novella: the couple's children back home in Arizona fall into dangerous circumstances after being taken to Mexico by a well-intentioned, though careless nanny. Finally, half a world away in Tokyo, a deaf-mute teenager of affluent circumstances struggles to find her identity through risky behavior after the suicide death of her mother. The girl's father, it turns out, was the original owner of the gun the boy used to shoot at the tour bus. While on a hunting vacation, he gifted the rifle to his Moroccan guide, who in turn sold the piece to the goat herder's father.

The three threads are interspersed and their chronology enticingly unclear, but in the end it didn't matter. The children in the Mexico scenario could have belonged to anyone; the Tokyo girl's plight unrelated except for the fact of her rich Daddy's hunting hobby.

It was too long, well, for so much of an ado about nothing. If there was a point, it wasn't one I could care about.

I would still (cautiously) recommend seeing this film, though only for the eye-candy and film art.

Guest Columnist Annie Whiplash

John Bolton's appointment as Ambassador to the UN will likely be voted down by the Senate due to baseless complaints about "management style". Bolton's enemies, also enemies of a strong America, have started in on the name-calling, citing Bolton as a "typical kiss up, kick down bureaucrat", "crass and abusive of subordinates", and, "a martinet in an ill-fitting suit". And your problem is? Pardon me, but there couldn't be any better qualifications. Bolton unabashedly genuflects at the altar of the Cheney/Rumsfeld/Bush global strategy of power through arrogance, and is willing and able to kick to the curb any brown-tinted, oddly-dressed third-worlder who sees it otherwise.

Bolton just tells it like it is, like it ever will be: America is the greatest country in the world. If you don't get it, we have just one word to say to you: sanctions!

In the past we've drawn our UN Ambassadors from the ranks of Academia and the Department of State, under the wrong-headed assumption that our representation within the world body requires a keen analytical intelligence, skill in diplomacy and a depth of cross-cultural understanding. It's now so obvious that this can never work.

Someone like John Bolton, using impressive rants capable of turning every face in the room red, will stuff our national will down the throat of every pretentious France-loving asshole in the assembly. America needs men like John Bolton, until we prevail in every War on Terror we declare.

( Annie Whiplash is a regular contributor at Blog from the Future Past )

On the scent of a good laugh, I went to see, "Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan", over the weekend. It was, at times, brilliant, especially when it wasn't overly busy being disgusting.

Sacha Baron Cohen spoofs an unsusecting public as Borat Sagdiyev, a clueless, very un-PC TV journalist from the Central Asian former Soviet Republic. Borat, with his 'producer' Azamat Bagatov (Ken Davitian), arrives in New York City on an assigment from the Kazakh Cultural Ministry to learn America culture, but soon gets diverted onto a horn-dog cross-country quest to (literally) bag Pamela Anderson.

Borat's naive biogotry and social dis-grace seems to bring out the worst in the 'real' people he meets. The geeky, clumsy reporter is threatened with violence by Big Apple passers-by as he greets them with kisses and advised to shave his mustache by a rodeo official, so as 'not to look like a terrorist'. Three drunken college boys in a camper educate Borat on the finer points of mysogeny and racism, and he is converted to Christianity at a bizarre Charismatic service, of course to enlist the Lord for the conquest of the comely Ms. Anderson.

This is Candid Camera meets Saturday Night Live with full-frontal nudity.

I could have done without the prolonged scene where naked Borat wrestled with his naked producer, a man dripping rings of flab off ashen, coarse-hair-covered blotchy skin.

Get the picture? This is where we -- the audience -- get spoofed as well, part of The Joke.

It's worth seeing and you will laugh... much of the time nervously.

Figuratively speaking, of course.

The above was going to be the title of my article today... well, until George Bush in a rare moment of lucidity saved me the trouble of asking. I decided to leave it as is since the head still lives, though thankfully elsewhere.

I believed Secretary Rumsfeld to be one of the scariest individuals on the planet for the past six years. With the vicious, petty Dick Cheney, Donny was half of the two-headed Siamese beast driving the U.S. government and its global policy toward an un-American form of lawlessness and a cavalier disregard for human rights and human life.

I can blame George Bush for falling under their spell for so long and so hard, but he should never have been President, anyway.

(I'm not talking about the Florida election fiasco. The electorate got what they deserved by giving such a lightweight even a chance to win.)

To anyone who did their homework on the neo-con world-view, including papers and articles authored by Cheney, Rumsfeld and their Byzantine pet wonk, Paul Wolfowitz, "Shock and Awe", Guantanamo, Abu Graib, covert spying, waterboarding and the rampant corruption of the war effort are all the natural fallout of a selfish, perverted philosophy.

There's a Cold War cultural sense in their plans and strategies, clandestine modes of operation, blatant power-mongering and disregard for the public will. It has been a policy out of step, out of date and way out of line, since day one.

Why it took almost six years to begin to figure it out is beyond me. I hate politics, but unfortunately I live in the world. These guys made that world a much less safer place for me and mine--and yours, too.

Bring me their figurative heads, one and all.

Guest Columnist Annie Whiplash

When a great American gay-basher and abortion foe such as Rick Santorum gets voted out of office by scumbag liberal traitors, it is a sad day for America indeed. The global warming gang, the environmental savages, the immigrant/terrorist-coddling religious bigots had their day yesterday, pulling their wool over the eyes of middle America. There are rumors they may have even poisoned the water in places like Ohio and Pennsylvania. Even the son of a beloved ex-football coach is endangered, with the vote count in Virginia at this writing too close to call. I mean, who knows what a 'macaca' is, anyway?

( Annie Whiplash is a regular contributor at Blog from the Future Past )

Get out and vote.

Get out and vote for women and minorties. If you insist on voting for a white man, make sure it's someone who wouldn't be caught dead wearing a tie.

Get out and vote for anyone who calls the neo-con pre-emptive global strategy insane.

Every politician acceeds to special interests. The special interests of Halliburton, Bechtel-Parsons, Gulf Oil and Congressional pocket-lining have held sway for far too long. Get out and vote for those whose special interests are affordable universal health care, education, the environment and membership in the community of nations.

Get out and vote for those who believe the War on Terror ends through a peace yet unmade, yet unattempted. Get out and vote for those who believe America is not about torture, and that we don't have to become a police state to maintain our peace and security.

Get out and vote for those who believe everyone should have the opportunity to obtain the legal benefits of a domestic partnership. Get out and vote against the House Page baiting hypocrits and anyone else who tries to force their own brand of morality or superstition down your throat.

Vote now and vote often.