Blog from the Future Past

NEWS ANALYSIS: You gotta love it. Yesterday, CNN ran a piece, the core premise that Condoleeza Rice denied she would run for President in '08. Denials are just not interesting, guys. (Remember, "Hey, OJ... did you do it?")

What they really need to do is to ask the right question. As a reknowned expert on media fabrication of news that's not news, I suggest someone at CNN, maybe Larry King, ask Ms. Rice the following, "When you attend the Presidential BBQ's at the Crawford ranch, do you prefer the ribs, sausage or brisket?"

Larry could do this under the ruse of making her seem more human--a daunting task to begin with, but she'll probably take the bait. Then, regardless of her answer, you can make up any number of interesting tag lines:

• Rice craves boss man's meat
• Condie denies oral contact with Presidential sausage
• Bush porks Condy at Crawford Affair
• GWB stuffs Sec. of State with huge wiener
• Secretary Rice slashes Bush ribs

It doesn't matter if there's some sort of fluff piece to follow, just as long you get another ad-click opportunity on the website or get the rubes to sit through three-minutes worth of furniture ads.

And it's not dishonest at all. Caviar Emptied... duh...