BILL LAMBERT
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Wednesday, February 23. 2005
Hunter Thompson Still Dead
Someday, the results of stemcell research will be used to fix people who might grow up to be as perceptive as Hunter Thompson, one of the canaries in our collective coal mine. Government physicians will examine newborns with special scanning devices that isolate the defective brain function, then inject new cells to repair the fault.
Viola !! The end of outrageous outrage.
Monday, February 21. 2005
Why Do the Irretrievably Insane Always Die Young?
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Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas and Fear and Loathing on the Campaign Trail may never be considered literary classics, but nothing mirrored the times as well or made me laugh as much. |
In Memory of Hunter S. Thompson
gonzo poster boy
of an era bent insane
feared, loathed not, the gun
Friday, February 18. 2005
Why the Blog, Billy Boy?
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I started this blog to chronicle the end game on my novel, which I've been 'writing' for four years. Actually, I've only been writing for about a year and a half. The rest of the time has been spent, first; rewriting what I wrote, after tha; rewriting what I just rewrote.
Today I'll be rewriting the prologue for perhaps the fifth time. It keeps getting better... really. Or so I tell myself.
After I complete the book, then I'll have to deal with the enigmatic 'publishing industry'. From what I hear they're a collection of know-nothing cruel fools, assembled for the sole purpose of breaking a writer's heart.
All these tales of woe related by those trying to break in to 'the business' can't be true. Some people must get published, and new books come out all the time.
I think it works like Hollywood and screenplays. If it good, they buy it. If it isn't they don't.
The gin is in the freezer. It gets thick when it gets that cold. Sticks to your ribs.
Thursday, February 17. 2005
The Death of Screen Writing
Interesting article at CNN, titled "Is the Original Screenplay Dead"?
http://www.cnn.com/2005/SHOWBIZ/Movies/02/17/film.writers.reut/index.html
It says, 'yes', Hollywood doesn't really want original screenplays. Or maybe they do, if they're violent screenplays with lots of special effects.
What did that article say, anyway?
It says if your screenplay is good, they'll probably buy it. All the other original screenplays -- the ones the film industry won't buy -- are doomed to a doornail death.
That CNN... they write that way to fool us, all the time. They make it look like they know what they're talking about, but never say much.
The most valued public skill of our times: say nothing in particular, look fantastic doing it.
On the Scent of Paris Hilton
girls who smell like you
should soap up and get scrubbed clean
with a stiff wire brush
I don't actually know what Paris Hilton smells like. I have a vivid imagination, though. You should trust me on this, maybe forward a donation for a few bars of lye soap and a family sized jug of extra-strength Mister Clean.
Wednesday, February 16. 2005
No News Today
I look for interesting stuff in the news to make fun of, and it's becoming more and more a mean and ugly business. It's all too easy to parody, and most of the news isn't funny.
Is Michael Jackson, 'funny'? How about Paris Hilton, tidal waves, prison-going priests, or George Bush cutting his homies in on a fat slab of the Social Security pie?
Okay... Paris Hilton is sort of funny. She was invented for the new millennium, poster girl for those afflicted with poor eyesight and bad taste.
And she probably tastes bad, too.
Paris deserves a haiku.
Tuesday, February 15. 2005
The Writing List
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I'm on a mailing list for writers. Even though I am one, I don't really like most writers all that much. Someone always has a bee in their bonnet about one thing or another, and they argue about the stupidest stuff for days on end.
And they like to talk about themselves... a lot.
I'm not like that. I'm different.
Really.
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