God Bless Dick Cheney

I applaud former Vice-President Dick Cheney's effort to defend the Bush administration's unblemished record on the War on Terror. In rebuttal to President Obama's speech today on National Security, Cheney clearly illustrated why we need the prison at Guantanamo Bay. "If we tortured people on American soil, it would be un-American. If we offshore all the dirty work," he added, "we'll likely get a lighter sentence when they finally catch up with us."

Here at the God Network, we totally agree. The whole torture thing has been overblown by silk-skivvy liberals too afraid to stretch out an obvious terrorist on the rack. If waterboarding is torture, then why did it take 87 sessions before they finally got Kahlid Sheik Muhamed to spill the chickpeas? Torture, indeed. Showing that sick murderer a couple of hours of Lady Gaga videos might have worked just as well.

Cheney also questioned the competency of the Obama team and their will to pummel Arab radicals back into line. "This administration can't win the war because only we could do that. Or at least we could when Rummy was still around," said the former VP, to a standing ovation at the Washington Fossil Club, due to the cigar smoke known as the Conservative Stink Tank. "I really do miss Rummy," he repeated, teary-eyed.

Former Vice-President Dick Cheney will someday be recognized as a true American hero, the Torquemada of the New Millenium.