Revival of the Beauty Pageant

You have to wonder what they're thinking over there at Miss USA. The entire Miss California/Perez Hilton controversy has been a disaster and an embarrassment to pageant organizers, however, they've earned every stinking ostrich egg caked on their face. THE MOTHER OF ALL MISTAKES: en-paneling a gay male as a judge in a beauty contest is like selecting someone to judge an equestrian event who has never ridden a horse. Pageant organizers should have anticipated that Hilton, a headline grabber of the first rank, might judge the contest based on some unpredictable or arbitrary criteria. An accident waiting to happen; by selecting Hilton, they set themselves up for the fall. Each contestant in Miss USA is filtered through a written questionnaire, that asks, among others other things, if the young lass has bared her assets, so to speak, for the camera. If, as it turned out, you can be disqualified for being less than politically correct in the mind of one of the judges, shouldn't they ask that question on the contest entry form up front, as well? Q. Do you support same sex marriage? (Warning: a negative response may get your tight little world-class heiny disqualified)

Bloganazzi Perez Hilton trolling for a full body cavity search while enroute to this years' Cannes Film Festival.

Why should it matter what some 22-year-old Malibu airhead thinks about gay marriage? All that should be required is, look pretty, smile for the cameras and don't spit when you attempt to appear vaguely intelligent. It is supposed to be beauty contest, after all, not a run for the Senate or a spot on the NASA Board of Governors.

We won't even get into the hypocrisy of disqualifying any contestant who has peeled down to show off a little cheesecake... especially these days, since everyone in middle-school is doing it. They parade out the Miss USA bimbo platoon wearing little more than off-strip Vegas club girls. I mean, is there anyone on earth who doesn't know what a nipple looks like?

Anyone besides Perez Hilton, that is.

Even if you can't see the naughty bits, everyone is sure thinking about them. Maybe they should show more skin, in order to save the pageant.. give this outdated throwback a little life. They could add a lap dance round in place of those inane questions and add more entertaining side-awards, 'Best Tail Feathers', for instance, or 'Best Natural Hooters', since such things tend to encourage more in the way of hands-on viewer participation.

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